You know the early arrival date of every spring migrant in your area but can't remember your anniversary.
You've added semipalmated and pileated to your spell checker.
You get pulled over for drunk driving at 9 am because you were watching a flock of kinglets.
You don't blush when you say Bushtit.
Your friends have tennis elbow and athlete's foot, you have warbler neck.
You care that there are more than one race of Canada Goose.
Your binoculars cost more than your car.
Prior to a visit to an art museum, you consult your painting field guide to learn the field marks of the paintings most likely to be seen on this trip.
When you talk about the Big Day you don't mean your wedding.
You visit your mother-in-law twice a year because she lives in Southeastern Arizona.
After a diversity training course at work you file a complaint because a painting in the hall lacks Blue Phase Snow Geese.
Dream vacation sites include garbage dumps and sewage ponds.
You go to a nude beach with a spotting scope and spend the entire time trying to identify alcids.
You don't care about economic or tax issues, you want to know if a political candidate is a splitter or a lumper.
You threaten a boycott of Utah because their State Bird isn't a real species.
Your child's first word is pish.
You refer to lingerie as breeding plumage.
You own every Bird Field Guide published, but the only one you ever use is your first edition Golden Guide.
You can accept that Wile E Coyote defies the law of gravity and survives being smashed by a 2 ton rock, but can't get past the fact that the Roadrunner's vocalization is incorrect.
You buy 8 kinds of suet but only one kind of breakfast cereal.
You have a life list, a county list, and a list of birds you've seen defecate.